Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Pity Party

There is a pity party going on at my house, attendance 1.  I was officially put on bed rest yesterday--at only 24 weeks.  I am hoping that I will do so great the doctor will ease up some but I need to be prepared for this to be a long term deal.  The doctor says this can happen to anyone but I can't help but think that all of my surgeries are contributing to this in some way.

My cervix is thinning out, thickening, thinning back out, thickening again, and so on.  It just so happened that when I was at the doctor yesterday my cervix was at its thinnest--2.2 cm.  My pity party started before I could even get to my car.  While I was still with the doctor I was trying to take everything in to the point that I couldn't even really conceive what I was facing.  His instructions were that I could get up to fix myself something to eat or drink, go to the bathroom and shower, and change the DVD in the player.  He also said I could work from home as long as I could do it from a reclining position.  He has also put me on progesterone.

By the time I got to my car the party started. Why can't just one medical thing ever go right for me?  How many different ways as I letting down my husband and family by putting this burden on them?  How is my husband going to work and take care of everything around the house for the next few months?  This list is quite exhaustive so I will just stop here.  

So here I lay, in my Cabela camping chair that is like laying on a cloud, with my legs under my tall desk, taking a break from working on Day 2 of bed rest.  I am willing my cervix to grow.

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