In the Big House

Tonight's episode of Pregnancy and Crohn's Disease is being filmed live in front of  a studio audience at Huntsville Hospital.  Yep, I am in the Big House.

The doctor tightened down on my bed rest on Monday and because of the long weekend I decided I would feel better if I had one more check.  Thank God that I did.  When I went in today my cervix was now dangerously low.  Admit now, do not pass Go.  Leave it to me to not have shaved my legs or showered before my early morning appointment.

They have me on an IV drip to calm my uterus and have given me steroid shots to mature the baby's lungs just in case.  Tomorrow they will be doing a cerclage to sew my cervix shut.  Following that will be strict bed rest for at least the next few weeks.

I have been feeling guilty for what all I am putting my husband and family through.  I can't help but think that all of my surgeries and years of chronic illness is contributing to this in some way.  If only I didn't have this jacked up body, maybe I would be out picking out things for the nursery and cooking another awesome meal for my husband and I.  Instead, he has the weight of the world on his shoulders--stress at work, laundry, meals, getting me a drink, getting me a snack, etc.  He is doing a fantastic job taking care of me but I can't help but thinking that now I know what my grandfather must have meant when he always said "I don't want to be a burden."

Here's praying that tomorrow goes well and our baby boy can hold out a little while longer.