Lessons learned two years down the road...

When I got pregnant with Wylie back in 2011 it came after a year of wicked flare brought on by a stupid GI doc that decided that I should come off ALL of my meds and go on steroids before trying to get pregnant.  Who knew that was the worst possible thing to do?  I certainly didn't, and I trusted my doctor.  I went in to what I thought was the flare of a decade that resulted in pain, tests, hospitalizations, etc.  The fact that we even got pregnant with all of that going on in my body is amazing.


That is what makes what happened next even more of a "What were you thinking?!?!" moment.  When I finally had Wylie I was feeling so great, total remission great, that I came off my meds.  For the first time in 30 years I wasn't taking any medication for Crohn's Disease.  I was living the high life.  Until it all came crashing down about 9 months after he was born.  That is when the true flare of the decade happened.  I had forgotten how much pain Crohn's can really cause.  After having all of my surgeries years ago, I was relieved of that major, I can't do anything but lay here and survive pain.  That is until mid-2012 when I started having symptoms that I thought might be a good idea to not tell anyone about.  If I don't say it out loud it isn't really happening right?

I am world famous (okay, maybe not world famous but at least regionally famous) for denying a flare.  "How are you feeling today Alison?"  Fine, but oh did I forget to tell you I just took pain meds 30 minutes ago?  

Imagine my surprise and profound sadness when I go to check in with my GI back at the beginning of 2013--yes, I waited over six months before addressing the problem, to get the go-ahead to try for another baby.  How can I be SO stupid?  I felt like crap.  I could barely scrape myself up out of bed to take care of Wylie, much less a husband, house, job, etc.  And I was going to go in and try and convince the doctor that I was fine?  Not only fine, but ready to carry another baby for 10 months?  Like I said, I am really good at denial.  I had prepared myself mentally to start the process of having another baby and to have that come to a screeching halt was so hard.

So began months of testing, drugs upon drugs upon more drugs, 20 pounds or so of weight gain from steroids, and starting and stopping the emotional process that takes place when being treated for fertility issues each time my blood work came back indicating that my Crohn's was still flared.

All that said, TAKE YOUR MEDS!!!!  It isn't worth it.  There are so many medications now that are safe for the baby.  I know you think that not having those meds in your system will make it healthier for the baby but if you are so sick you cannot A. maintain the pregnancy or B. take care of your baby once they are here, you aren't doing anyone any good.